The thing about me
Here's the thing about me. I'm wild. I'm a wanderer. I'm impatient. I'm tough. Resiliant. Sensitive. compassionate. Loving. I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders. Educated. God fearing. Constantly evolving.
I refuse to accept anything less than my worth.
I demand transparency.
Loyalty. People who are compassionate, patient, educated, emotional, not only towards me but to others.
My instinct is is impeccable. Some days I'm on a high, other days are dark and low. But I'm growing. I'm learning control and understanding.
I tend to react from my heart which sometimes gets me in sticky situations. I'm learning to not react so impulsively & step back from situations I cannot control.
I'm afraid of loss. I'm afraid of things coming to an end. Sometimes I'm afraid of myself. How wonderfully and fearfully I am made.
I'm an extrovert when I trust you. An introvert when I'm figuring out where you stand in my life. I'm protective of myself and my emotions and I am selective about who I share myself with. I realize that at times this tends to come off as standoffish and bitchy but I don't believe everyone deserves to have all of me.
I'm quick to cut things out of my life without owing an explanation. Bottom line is: if it no longer serves a purpose in my life, it's no longer needed. It's not you, it's me. It's me finding my happiness, it's me finding people who get me. Who are better than me. Who drive me.
I overanalyze everything. I pick things apart. I create stories. But I'm learning to not worry, and focus on now. Not yesterday nor tomorrow, but to be present. To accept that I cannot control others nor their actions, and that I cannot go insane trying to understand them.
But I keep on pushing. I keep on growing. & I somehow live un-apologetically. I am un-apologetically me.