The Neo-Dater

During one of my many late night City conversations over Halal I mentioned to my best friend I wanted to date. The topic sprouted in my head hours prior while I was kayaking. I was unable to stay present and focus on how beautiful a day it was to go kayaking. All I could think about was how kayaking would make a great date aka I wish someone was thoughtful enough to take me on an “unconventional” date”.  

The thing is I don’t really want to “date” someone. I don’t want a boyfriend (although I am not opposed to that happening).

As I reflect on those statements I realize that I have contributed my joy and happiness to men, and I began to meditate on events and experiences that have a special place in my heart.  

There was Junkanoo with my boyfriend.

Traveling to the Bahamas to visit my boyfriend.

Road trips.

Spoken word dates.

Hiking.

Practicing photography.

Finding and losing myself.

A majority of the wonderful moments I have experienced thus far in my twenty-two years on earth involve men. It’s not that I’m against having memorable experiences with the men who enter my life, but the list of happiness with myself doesn’t compare.  

Yes, I’m a sucker for love. I’m a sucker for any man that knows exactly what I need and want, without me ever having to speak a word. BUT, I DO NOT NEED nor WANT a man or anyone else to make me happy. I love interacting with people and sharing priceless, breathtaking moments with them, but I do not need any one else to allow me to see the beauty within and around me.

This is why I am dating myself*.  

I’m going to go on dinner dates, and treat myself to a steak and glass of wine I can’t afford. I’m going to go to movies in the Park solodolo. You can find me sitting in a dark corner of a lounge crying over heart-touching spoken word. I’m going to do everything my heart desires.

 

I’m going to fall in love with myself.

 

If you are unsure of how to date yourself follow these simple steps:

1.     Begin by making a list of everything you want to do (i.e. your bucket list).

2.     Schedule your dates (I try to do at least one thing on my list a week if time permits).

3.     Get-cho-sexay-on. Throw on some lipstick, some heels, whatever makes you feel sexy.

4.     Spoil yourself at least once a month (a shopping spree, dinner, anything your heart desires as long as it’s in your budget) you deserve it.

5.     Be honest with who you are in life, where you are in life, and most importantly know that where you’re going is better than we’re you’re at today.

 

*I will be sharing #datingmyself photos on Instagram. If you decide to date yourself please hashtag your photos so I can see the awesome dates you go on!